Sunday, April 30, 2017

Notes from the Good Shepherd Orphanage, Uttarakhand.

Soon I want to start a childcare, an orphanage, a school or some kind of a mix of the three for the underprivileged children. Toward this, I visited this 60+ year old orphanage in Uttarakhand and worked there as a volunteer to understand how such institutions are run. Here are some notes from my visit.

The Hug
Morning Hugs
Each morning after breakfast at 6:30 am, children grab their bags and leave for school which is a couple of hundred meters within the mission complex. Clifton, in his early-thirties, who co-runs the mission and the school (along with his father and Eugene, his partner), hugs every child before they walk towards the school, including his own. It’s akin to what we do when we drop our children at the bus stop. Every child looks for warmth and the kids at the mission get it through this morning ritual. Towards my third day, many children come and hug me as well. And one of this guy, Raymond, holds my hand and makes me walk up to the school. On the way, we exchange notes and concur that school is boring. To indulge further, I offer to play soccer in the evening and he asks if I know how to play the sport. I reassure him that I coached Messi. A slightly elder girl walking ahead of us looks back and gives me a ‘stop kidding’ smile. When I press further, I realise that I am not been taken seriously by anyone, including the eight-year-old who holds my hand. At the school gate, he hugs me again. As I see him go, I wonder how rarely I go to drop Mishti down to her bus stop.

RS, the Rockstar
Rick Shipway, The Rockstar
Rick Shipway, Clifton’s father, is called Grandpa by most children. He knows everything from making school desks to fixing a tractor engine. His ingenuity includes plumbing, handling electrical units, farming, carpentry and masonry. I spent one of these days painting school desks for nursery children. At the workshop Grandpa used his tools to bend the rods and weld them which was then passed on to us to paint. Later at the carpenter shed, plywood was fixed on to the desks. Under his supervision, six of us created a couple of dozen desks, in a day from scratch at the cost of approximately of Rs. 1500 per desk.

On most days I work as his apprentice. Imagine his frustration working with someone as clumsy as me. Spread across 73 acres of land, the mission has a couple of buses, a couple of tractors, an orphanage that houses 75 plus kids in different units basis their age and gender, staff quarters, a kitchen, a couple of bio gas units, a swimming pool, a cow shed with a few dozen cows and a full-fledged school where 800 children study.  Something or the other needs fixing all the time and Grandpa is always available. He starts before eight, so much to my chagrin, and goes on until dark. He must be saving the mission thousands every month and lots of time simply by being available whenever anything needs fixing. While the mission provides for everything, his bank account has Rs. 33 and he draws no salary. 

Every child has a story 
A good girl cutting nails of a naughty boy
“How long have you been married?”, asks this guy. 

I say, “15 years”. 

Pause. 

“Congratulations!”, he calmly responds. 

From where I am sitting, I can’t see his face. I don’t know if that was sarcastic. But the timing makes me laugh out loud. He comes over and checks if I know any movie stars. My answer disappoints him. Then he shares how he wants to be in the army but may not get through owing to his height. He is nineteen and helps Grandpa at the workshop. He was not brought here, but left at the gate by some lady, when he was 3 days old. Last year he became desperate to find out his real parents. The mission keeps records of every child brought but though his was sketchy, through some investigation, they found out that the woman who dropped the child that night lived in a village four hours from the mission. The search team traced the maternal grandfather who was happy to see him and hugged and accepted him. The woman, who now serves as a principal of a small government school in the same village, is married with children. She did not show up.  Our teenager was shattered. For being abandoned twice.

Then there is this other girl who was sexually abused by her step-father and brought to the mission. For years the trauma resided in her. She did not allow anyone to even touch her. Then there was this nine year old boy who stole to keep himself alive and was found on the streets and brought to he mission. In the first few days he was amazed that he could eat as much as he wanted. And there were three meals a day!

Each child has a story, often heart breaking, that I had only seen in the movies. And there are 75 of them. The caretakers, the other children and the trees and forests nearby bring out a balmy effect. 

Everyone gets better here. They start smiling. Living. They will cheer you up with their innocent talks and dead pan humour. They are happy and free.

Re-calibrating the lines
Ice-cream party
Think about your bike or car mechanic on the side of the road. His clothes and hands are greasy. Skin has tanned working under the sun. His t-shirt, which seems borrowed, sticks to his back as he sweats profusely. Suddenly he says, “I think the choke has to be changed and the silencer cleaned. It will take a couple of hours” in decent English accent.

Cut to scene two.

Imagine you taking a walk at a park close to your house and slum children are playing soccer. Suddenly the ball comes towards you and one of the kids says, “Uncle, can you please pass on the ball?” Again in good English.

I don’t know about you but I would be stumped. English is only for us, people who wear good clothes come from decent backgrounds and live in decent housing societies.

We, the privileged.
Learning to play Risk, a board game

It’s not for slum dwellers or the mechanics or the drivers. And definitely not for orphans and their caretakers as they dress simply, work at the farms or the kitchen or at the workshop.
Now consider my reaction during the first few days of my stay where everyone spoke to me in decent English –kids, maids, drivers what have you. Some children spoke better than ours. Change them to flashy clothes and better setting and you would not be able to make out the difference between our kind and theirs. The mission has re-calibrated the lines. English is for the under-privileged.

Reflections
Reflections
The aazan wafting from a distance melded into the quiet. I am sitting at the NHPC canal and hearing the silence within and its dissonance. Paint bolts on my arms and the muscle pain after a hard day’s work provoke indignation. But after a while, the isolation reflects and I am able to discover my role in the larger scheme of things.

I am here to observe and learn.

I learn that though the canteen turns into a church every Sunday, the objective is to impart values and not religion. That though most children are skinny and diffident, they are healthy and most importantly happy. That love is welcomed but commiseration not. That though Clifton never held a high position in a formal organisation, he is one of the most sensible and intelligent person I met in years, with a great EQ and IQ balance. That though the mission has little trouble getting funds, its office bearers have practically nothing in their bank accounts. That though the mission was started by an American and is run by Australians (and Eugene), it is Indian in all respects. That though there are not many great success stories of children making it big in their lives, almost all of them, who passed out from here, are living a decent livelihood. That though I may not agree to some of their ways, at the centre of whatever they do is the child. That though the mission may not be perfect, but tell me how many of our families are?

During my days of volunteering, I worked at the workshop, painted school desks, moved bricks and tin sheets for the school. I also played with children and helped them with their homework and offered some career advice to the grownups. I could barely sleep in the initial days and caught fever in between. But some day I may possibly go back again.


Simply for the warm hugs. 





At work
The school and the mission






















Saturday, April 29, 2017

The Wait

I pressed the send button and waited. First for it to deliver, then for him to read and finally his response. But there was none. For days. Then weeks. 

First I thought it was one of those games we played with each other without calling the rules. Those got formed on the way. Just like kids play gully cricket. This was who blinked first game. He may be calling it something else. One of the (again unsaid) rules was we didn't discuss these games or their rules and often appeared to be oblivious to them. But both of us knew when the game was on. 

This time however the game lasted longer than ever. Quite a caustic paradox was the fact that while real life games became more and more engaging (even if tiring) as they became longer, ours was waning in enthusiasm. While in a real life game the patrons were on the edge of their seats with excitement as the outcome could go either ways, in our case I don't even know if he was still on his seat playing. Had he left while I waited?

All our life, the only thing that we constantly do besides breathing is... wait. While the lover waits for her to come, the householder waits for her guests to leave. While the patient waits to get out, the expectant waits to get in. Night waits for sleep and the mornings for the cognizance, the snow for the sun and the parched for the rains. The tourist waits to get out while the commuter waits to get in, the mother waits to feed the son while the father waits for the daughter to return. 

I think of this old Doordarshan serial called Intezaar (The Wait). Every episode of the serial opened with a song that had beautiful lines on waiting. The hungry waits for food, the thief for the opportunity, the downcast for love and the despondent for God. Or so it goes. 

I wonder why people wait for the expected? Why is it that while waiting for the inevitable is acceptable, that for the fortuitous is considered ludicrous? What if I stopped waiting? 
I dismiss the thought immediately. After all, he was the realistic one and I a dreamer. It's just been a few weeks. And people have spent a lifetime waiting. Ghalib said so.